just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
