I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
