I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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