Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
