yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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