Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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