He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
