I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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