The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
