alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I am one with the molecules
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
