They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
