god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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