i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
