So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Randomize
