why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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