wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
