I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
