What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
