We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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