bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
