T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We had sex on a dog bed..
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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