So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
this will be a night to untag.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize