then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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