I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
