The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize