so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
