I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
