Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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