I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
