Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
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He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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