We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
