Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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