I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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