So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
