just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
