There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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