she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize