He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
false alarm, still single
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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