Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
