He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
