I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
