No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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