Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
