Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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