No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
