well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
