does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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