My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
