You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
