she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
