plz talk dirty to me
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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