youre lurking in front of me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We have started to decorate penises.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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