Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
