i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
