I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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